Circle of Women Event Stories

Paige, Girls & Youth participant in the Contact Plus program:

My name is Paige and I am 14 years old. Currently I'm attending Folwell Middle School and I'm in the 8th grade. Some things you should know about me are that I'm very outgoing, very easy to talk to, and I play a lot of sports like: Volleyball, Basketball, and Softball. Two years ago I got involved with the YWCA when Ms Alysha came to my school and talked to all of the students about Contact Plus and gave us all permission slips to see if we wanted to be in the program. When I went home that day I talked to my dad about what she told my class and he signed my permission slip. I was happy to join group because I wanted to try something new and I thought it would be fun to talk about personal stuff in a group of all girls.

From the start I felt she was going to be a person that I would be able to talk to. Before I really got to know her I didn't really have any adult to talk to because I felt like I was always in an unstable home.

Let me back up and explain my living situation. I was born in New Orleans and I lived with my Grandmother until I was 10 years old. Then I moved in with my biological mother. It wasn't easy. Within the first few weeks of living with her, Hurricane Katrina happened and we were forced to live in a shelter for about 6 months because our house had been flooded. Then we picked up our few belongings and moved to Arizona. Five months later we came back to New Orleans and I lived with her for about another year. When I was 11, she turned me over to Foster care because she told me she didn't want me anymore. The last time I saw my biological mother was in the court room and her last words to me were "bye" and she laughed in my face and left. I didn't think it was very funny.

After about a year in foster care the state finally connected with my dad and sent him a letter telling him where I was. He didn't know where I was because he had left New Orleans 5 years before that and he moved to Minnesota.

I came to MN with my dad and ended up living with my dad's girlfriend at the time, Sadie, for 2 years, which I didn't plan on. Now I've been living with my grandmother since the beginning of this school year. This summer I will be living with my dad, his girlfriend, who I now call mom and her daughter.

Because of all of the different people I have lived with, I have not had one consistent adult to really get to know and trust. That's why when I got to know Ms Alysha, I opened up to her because I knew she wasn't going anywhere. I just felt really comfortable around her because I never felt judged. I felt like she was a really easy person to talk to because I felt really cared about and listened to. Have you ever had someone ask you "What's wrong" and just leave or change the subject to something else? What's the point of you even asking if you're gonna do that? I feel cared about because Ms. Alysha listens to what I have to say.

Let me break it down for you. One day last year I was going through a hard time and I told her that I was no longer living with Sadie. I was in between housing and was staying The Bridge for Runaway youth. At that point, I didn't have a place to call home.

I remember crying on the steps in the hallway talking to her about what happened at home. And then she told me that everything was going to be okay and that everything happens for a reason. It was hard, but I believed her. I felt supported. I felt like for once in my life there was an adult who was for real and concerned about me and really cared about my feelings. After I figured out my housing, I returned to girls' group and Ms Alysha checked in with me every week.

Not only did I find an adult who I really trust at the YWCA, I learned about safe sex and the consequences of not having safe sex! I learned how to make better choices for myself and how those positive choices will affect my future and my attitude towards life. I was taught that I need to have a positive attitude towards people and that it's important not to snap on people whenever I feel like it. And I learned that if I do, Ms Alysha will snap back and put me in my place! After having her for group for the past 2 years I feel closer to her and I can still trust her with anything. I now know how it feels to have a positive adult in my life and I feel that if you find a person like that you should keep them around for a long time in your life. Now I have a better relationship with my dad because I learned not to always push people away from me.

Another life lesson I learned is that you need to be responsible for your actions because they affect other people. I remember watching a movie in group, about this little boy who grew up in New York and was HIV positive because his mom was a drug user. We discussed the movie, and it taught me that my decisions will affect other people and that I need to live my life making choices that will be good for me as well as for other people. Doing drugs has serious consequences and puts your own life to risk and if you have a child you are risking your child's life too. The movie also taught me that I shouldn't do drugs because it can hurt me and other people.

If I would not have been involved with the YWCA, I would have followed down the wrong path or be in jail somewhere. I have never had someone in my life before who I could tell really cared about me.

Now I know that I am on my way to great things in life. I am happy to say that I am currently getting straight A's, I love Math, and that I will be the first person from my family to attend college after I graduate from high school! Someday I hope to be a social worker, teacher or counselor so I can give back to my community what the YWCA gave to me.

Alexis, YWCA Children's Center parent:

My name is Alexis Mann and I'm a member of the YWCA and parent in the Children's Center. I'm a graduate of the University of Minnesota and work as a paralegal and reserve teacher. I'm also studying for my Master's degree in Special Education at Bethel University. I have three children. Jarahia who is18, Janiyah who is 6, and Nijah who is 4.

My history with the YWCA goes back to the fall of 1995 when I moved to Minneapolis to start a new life. I was new to the area and didn't know my way around. At that time my daughter, Jarahia, was 4 years old and I was raising her on my own. Her father promised me that he would make it hard for me when I left him by not helping me with her- and he sure lived up to those words. All of my family lived in Atlanta so I was alone and I had no one helping me with Jarahia. Yet, I was determined to start a new and better life for me and my daughter.

Before moving to Minneapolis, I had been living in St. Paul with my younger cousin who was murdered when he was 17, and before that- his friends kept trying to rob me. So I gave up everything: my Section 8, my apartment, and all of my furniture to move to Atlanta to be near my family.

After trying to make in Atlanta, I moved back to Minnesota within a couple months because I figured out that I could make a better life for us here. When I moved to Minneapolis, I found a job right away but I didn't have anywhere for Jarahia to go while I was at work. There wasn't any childcare funding available through the county and I couldn't afford to pay the costs on my own. My life was very difficult at that time.

After calling at least a dozen different centers, something told me to try the YW. It was within walking distance from my house and I lost my driver's license so I had to walk- or take the bus. I called the YW and found out they had funding for low income families, I felt like it was a miracle. I was finally able to start getting my life back on the right track and providing some stability for Jarahia. Before that, Jarahia had been in and out of childcare centers because we were always moving and because of the drama I had going on in my life.

I fell in love with the YW from the moment I walked through the door. Everyone was so friendly. I never once felt "less than" because I needed help. And I really appreciated the diverse classrooms, the family oriented environment and the strong focus on education and good health.

When I think back on that time of my life, I was literally standing at a fork in the road. If I hadn't received a scholarship from the YW, I would not have been able to enroll in college and I would have been forced to work dead-end jobs. Not to mention all the potential and learning Jarahia would have missed out on. But that didn't happen. I graduated from college when Jarahia was 12, which was when she stopped going to the YW. But she loved it there so much she got a job working in the children's center when she was 16. Jarahia is still working in the children's center and she's attending MCTC where she is studying early childhood education.

My two youngest daughters, Nijah and Janiyah, both started at the YW when they were 10 months old and they never want to miss a day. They especially love the field trips to the farmers market, musical trolley at McPhail, the flower show at Macy's and the Depot in the Marriot hotel. Even though we now live in Eagan, I drive them downtown Minneapolis to the Y every day.

Janiyah started first grade this year and she has jumped to a third grade reading level since the beginning of the year. She is reading chapter books and magazines, and she always volunteers to read the bedtime story. I am convinced that the training she received from the YW has helped her excel in school and has given her a positive attitude toward learning.

My youngest daughter Nijah, who is 4, is determined to learn. In fact, when we were at the library the other day she came to me with a book in her hand and said "I want to learn"! I felt so proud.

For my family, the YW has become a second home. A community that serves as a never-ending reminder that we all have endless potential. Because of the welcoming environment there, even my youngest children's father, Darryl, has grown tremendously. Because our daughters love coming so much, he takes pride in making sure that they get to there every day- which encouraged him to finally earn a GED. Now he is enrolled in college and volunteers in their classrooms. He even started working out regularly instead of hanging out or sitting around somewhere like he used to do.

Thanks to the childcare scholarship I received from the YWCA, I have been able to provide a healthier life for my children. I am now a master student, I have more opportunities for economic advancement, I have increased earning potential, and a convenient fitness routine. My oldest daughter is headed in the right direction and has managed to not become a teen mom like I was. My younger children are ready and able to achieve academically and each of my children are more prepared to thrive in a diverse world because of their experiences at the YW.

I could never express my gratitude enough for the positive impact this has had in my life. Thank you for being here, thank for you listening to my story, and thank you for your generous support of the YWCA - and therefore, women like me.